Your Messenger message:

"Good day Sir Tony i am here to seek guidance as to my current situation . I feel stuck , as if i am being slowly being sucked by a quicksand.  I feel that i am the kind of person that  tends to self destruct or sabotage myself and that I have been trying to slowly improve myself but i feel that there is no progress  or maybe there is but it is to minute to be seen or felt .I have tried meditation and doing art but tier consolation has now left me and that in that aspect i am also lagging behind .Aside from that I also am afraid of change, or at least the uncertainty of my dream and my life being upended by my decisions . Other people have controlled my life since early years and that i am now an adult i find it hard to make decisions for myself and i am always afraid of being alone in the end,I have been diagnosed with OCD and anxiety disorders. Is there anything  sir that you know  helps  stop the thoughts or to improve myself? Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated . Thank you for your time Sir tony.

"Sincerely yours,
______________"

My reply:

Hello ______________!

Sounds like you are bored to me. 

1) The only way to counteract boredom with self is to engage in activities that help others--get your feet wet, so to speak, which should somewhat get rid of your obsession-compulsion.

2) Harnessing your obsession-compulsion in the service of creativity, on the other hand, is also a possibility. You might have tried the wrong kind of art. Consider satin-stitch embroidery or petit point, beadwork, mosaic, or dollhouse-building.

3) Read up on the actors' Stanislavski method of working from the outside to the inside, rather than the other way around. Change your haircut and your wardrobe, for starters.

4) Take a vacation or apply for a job that will take you to a different city. Your current home, locale, and workplace may be too small for you.

It is envy that fuels the hyperactive.

Only sleep can heal the body, the mind, and the heart at the same time.

Spirit guides move on when they see you no longer need them. They never abandon you. They are always replaced by other spirit guides.

Listen to everything the mentor says rather than to only what you think applies to you.

Drizzly night in Cubao.

Feeling under the weather because I was frazzled this morning. There was no all-purpose cream at any of the stores, and so I had to go all the way to the center to buy some.

Set aside Forgotten Realms' Realms of the Arcane to reread tonight.

The September leaf falls off my planner.

We are entering the last quarter of the year!

Saturday, September 30, 2017

6:00 PM

Continued second layer on Storyteller.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Aubrey makes a refrigerator cake for dessert while Phat Doog Cerefina looks on.

Back from jalan-jalan at the center. Bought one set each of a counterpane, bed sheet, and two pillowcases for Angelique and Aubrey. Had to buy one that matches Angelique's yellow walls and another that matches Aubrey's blue walls.

Good day, Cubao!

The sky is a glass chessboard.

Done with Gladiators. Skipped the main part of Medieval Tournaments, all of Duelling, the main part of Boxing, all of Gunmen, and all of Fighter Pilots. Relished only the first section, which was on gladiators in ancient Rome. Am deciding to keep the book anyway.

"Seasoned wood" and "seasoned quail" use the same word "seasoned" with two completely different meanings.

Contemplating my painting and determining which five areas I should be working on in sequence tomorrow.

Late dinner at home with Angelique, Aubrey, and J. They all came home together. They were supposed to buy our dinner at _____________ but the lines were long and so they decided to buy at ______________ instead. 

Friday, September 29, 2017

9:49 PM

Continued second layer on Storyteller.

After I retired I swore that I would no longer follow other people's deadlines. Now I follow only my own, and others have to adjust to them.

Friday, September 29, 2017

4:02 PM

Continued second layer on Storyteller.

Never wish that another man's body were your body, because all of his physical illnesses will be yours as well.

After you are tired performing and drop in sheer exhaustion, the real players will appear.

Everything can be final, but not everything can be permanent.

Back from jalan-jalan and groceries.

You can never catch up with someone who is naturally difficult to chase, because he moves on the wheels of the gods.

Friday, Friday

Two cups very black arabica.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are enchanted fishing boats descending from the sky.

I laugh at mages who take every opportunity to show others how much they know while revealing to me how little they really know.

White Cowrie

So proud that one of my early, acrylic works titled White Cowrie (circa 2000) hangs on the wall of the house of a dear friend, Nancy Amelia Collins.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

5:02 PM

Commenced second layer on Storyteller.

Unable and unwilling to go to your event. Before I retired all of my free time was spent on extracurricular activities. Now all of my free time is for my family.

I am, however, writing and painting and knitting more than ever.

Late lunch alone. Granddaughters in school.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

2:59 PM

Finished first layer on Storyteller.

Commencing second layer soon. Second layer, to me, is when the fun begins, and painting then is like being in heaven.

Thursday, Thursday

Two cups very black arabica.

Tony Perez's Art of War: Always dissect, in public, the minds of those who try to put you down.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a white carnation on a lapel of sky.

Werewolves do not howl indoors.

Your conscious forgives, but your subconscious does not.

Your unconscious forgets, but your subconscious does not.

If your nape and shoulders are developing an itch, it is because you do not rinse off your shampoo thoroughly.

1) If using a strong shampoo, after applying it to your hair rinse off immediately. Do not let the shampoo stay in your hair while you lather the rest of the body with soap as though in a shampoo commercial
2) Rinse your hair while you are facing the shower head.
3) Rinse your hair with your back turned to the shower head.
4) Rinse your hair with your left side turned to the shower head.
5) Rinse your hair with your right side turned to the shower head.

Calling it a day for painting. Will resume tomorrow.

Now only one-fourth of the canvas needs to be covered with a first layer of paint.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

6:18 PM

Continued first layer on Storyteller.

I saw variants of Perez in other cultures on a site: " Bedrosian, Petrosyan (Armenian), Petrov (Bulgarian), Petrić, Petrović (Croatian), Pedersen, Petersen (Danish), Peter (Dutch), Pearce, Pearson, Peter, Peters, Peterson, Pierce, Pierson, Park, Parks, Perkins (English), Pekkanen (Finnish), Pierre, Perrault, Perreault, Perrot (French), Peter, Peters (German), Péter (Hungarian), Di Pietro, Petri, Pietri (Italian), Pedersen (Norwegian), Petran, Petrescu (Romanian), Petrov (Russian), Petrović (Serbian), Petersson, Pettersson, Persson (Swedish)"

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

4:02 PM

Continued first layer on Storyteller.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

2:31 PM

Continued first layer on Storyteller.

Good noon, Cubao!

The sun is the gleam on the surface of a chinning bar.

Psychological growth entails that you engage in new preoccupations and discard old ones that no longer work for you.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

10:07 PM

Continued first layer on Storyteller.

Dinner at home with Angelique, Aubrey, and J.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

5:24 PM

Continued first layer on Storyteller.

My antique dealer from Mindanao offered me a complete kulintang set but I declined. I do have antique gongs and bells (one gong functions as a dinner gong and five bells function as doorbells, three outdoors and two indoors), but a complete kulintang set is a bit over the edge for me.

We tolerate in pets embarrassing behavior that we do not tolerate in human beings.

All neighbors are naturally nosy and envious.

It is PRETENTIOUS to be afraid of clowns.

It is variety in clothing that keeps us sane, that is why those who wear uniforms everyday like dressing up for parties, and why those who do not wear uniforms everyday like dressing up in costumes.

Sometimes you have to lean back and tell yourself, "That's part of life."

When routines cannot be broken, they can at least be given variation.

Receiving a salary from someone is never a good excuse for undying loyalty to him.

At a certain time past retirement it becomes pointless to make new friends.

Only the bird who knows that it is free owns the sun, the wind, and the rain.

Never begin any kind of work with an untruth.

Let all other people's circuses subside before you go onstage.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

2:24 PM

Continued first layer on Storyteller.

Only real diamonds will amplify your psychic senses.

You are ill-advised to use 1980s strategies against 2000s issues.

In your moments of anger you wished people dead, and now you just might be getting your wish.

When the hermit shuts out the city, it transforms into a forest.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is the porthole of a heavy-duty washing machine.

Tony Perez's Art of War: People fear you when you do not live according to their opinions.

If you have a maid, household help, an apprentice, or an assistant, STOP and ask yourself: Is he/she taking care of me or am I the one taking care of him/her? If the latter, it isn't worth keeping the person. You think you are being helped, but it is actually a big joke. You are better off saving the money, the time, and the trouble you are spending on him/her.

People never have enough money on hand because they like pacifying themselves with junk.

Love fails when it disrespects or is disrespected.

The color of dusk is purple.

Before buying anything, ask yourself, "Is it a souvenir or is it a real objet d'art?"

Monday, September 25, 2017

10:52 PM

Continued first layer on background of Storyteller.

Everybody home. Angelique and J. watching a movie on the upper floor, Aubrey studying in the ground floor dining room.

The werewolf ate a chocolate ice cream zone at a Sitio Catacutan hawker's stand.

Monday, September 25, 2017

5:16 PM

Continued first layer on background of Storyteller.

Monday, September 25, 2017

3:59 PM

Finished grisaille on Storyteller.

Commenced first layer on background.

Back from jalan-jalan. The rain stopped for me.

Bought some stuff but couldn't find what Aubrey wanted. It is difficult to shop for one's granddaughters; when something is not available I never know what substitute they would have chosen or whether they would have settled for a substitute at all.

No matter at what time of day, after the rain a new day begins.

For the people who migrate to another planet, no one will be presumed guilty until proven innocent. At least for the first 1,000 years.

Noon rain in Cubao.

Two cups very black arabica.

Good noon, Cubao!

The sun is a stainless steel sieve.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

9:27 PM

Continued grisaille on Storyteller.

The flower vendor buzzed by. Bought two strands of white flowers with huge, ylang-ylang blossoms for the shivalingam, and libated clean water on it.

I wonder how the flower vendor makes enough money for himself. He spends the whole day at the church a la the bird woman in Mary Poppins, and comes home to Sitio Catacutan to vend whatever he was unable to sell.

Back from jalan-jalan at the center.

A., the branch manager of ________________, sent me an e-mail message yesterday, informing me that my order of extra _______________ arrived.

After I replied to him, he actually checked me out and read some of my blogs. He was particularly interested in my paintings and in the fact that I founded and continue to head the Spirit Questors. I confessed that I actually need the extra ________________ to store my ____________________. That surprised him even more.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

2:40 PM

Finished construction lines on Storyteller.

Commencing grisaille.

Apparently the world did not end yesterday.

Good day, Cubao!

The sky is a child's magic slate.

Your success and your fame as an artist do not depend on other people's patronage, endorsement, support, and intervention. They depend merely on yourself and on your works.

Still reading Gladiators. Finished the section on the samurai and decided to skip the section on medieval jousts.

Caught the 2016 TV movie Ouija: Origin of Evil on HBO. Much, much better than the 2015 Ouija, which was a movie about irritating teenagers, though, at the end, there is a one-shot suggestion that the latter is actually a sequel to the former.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

10:30 PM

Continued construction lines on _Storyteller_.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

8:17 PM

Continued construction lines on _Storyteller_.

Home alone.

Angelique's last midterm exam, after which she goes out with her block mates, and Aubrey is at a friend's birthday party.

Finished assembling the 3D puzzle, but it isn't my best puzzle assembly at all.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

6:10 PM

More construction lines on Storyteller.

Took a break from painting and commenced assembling a 3D puzzle of the Roman Colosseum.

I had to use a magnifying lens for this one.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

2:35 PM

Commenced construction lines on Storyteller.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are clusters of ice castles.

Rained at dawn.

Sleep was as sweet as a ripe, golden mango in September.

When insecure supervisors try to get rid of you, they have no idea that their acts redound on them at the soonest possible time.

Know when your mind, body, or heart are tired. Stop and rest. Do not insist on going on and on.

The spirit may be willing, but the flesh is exhausted.

Nine times out of ten, kindness costs nothing.

Your post-retirement calendar should never be the same as your pre-retirement calendar. If others continue to wish that you were still available to do what you used to do, leave them wishing. It only means that you were successful in doing your job--but you don't have to take that with you through your old age.

Retirement is a form of resurrection. Let it be so. Be a new person, not the person you used to be.

And astound everyone with the new things you are able to do.

I saw that they are being given more and more work for the same salary, and that they "cheerfully" accept it all if only to win the favor of their supervisors and keep their albeit contractual jobs.

I will never give up writing, painting and knitting. They are, to me, completely stress-free, and are the perfect forms of therapy for everything.

Saturday, September 22, 2017

3:54 PM

Second layer of underpainting

Saturday, September 22, 2017

Saturday, September 22, 2017

3:10 PM

First layer of underpainting

Dishonest people will always create more than one account. They will sign you up to them and then take you out of the one in which they do not want their family and friends to see your postings.

Block all of them.

Know what you want and know what you do not want. Everything else follows.

Two cups very black arabica from Dubai.

A person fishing for gifts will always seek to discuss embarrassing things about yourself. The only way to deal with him is to conjure your warrior personality and show the person that EVERYTHING about HIM is embarrassing.

You may or may not laugh while doing so. 

Tony Perez's Art of War: Sweet revenge can be as simple as not doing someone a favor, big or small. The pleasure is in telling the other person, directly or indirectly, "It's my turn to put you down."

Never trust a person who borrows money from you and does not pay you back. 

Good morning, Cubao!

All roads lead to the sun, because it purifies.

Caught the 2016 TV movie The Boy on HBO. Passably creepy, but, like all 20th-century horror movies, it has:

--screaming
--a man who becomes a love interest and steps in for rescues at the right moment
--a doll that comes to life
--a shower scene
--an attic with an old photo album
--flashbacks in period settings.

As usual, the producer, director, and writer didn't know how to properly end the story and showed a series of different endings in a perplexing and ineffective montage.

The flower vendor buzzed by. Bought two strands of white flowers for the shivalingam and libated a cup of clean water on it.

Since I'm done painting and no longer need to take breaks, I lost interest in The Queen Anne's Revenge and decided to give it to one of the boys on the compound for him to continue.

Back from jalan-jalan. Bought some kitchen stuff.

Every time you connect with someone on the astral level, you will be unable to sleep whenever that person is obsessively thinking, dreaming, or fantasizing about you.

The lion caged in the zoo dreams of having freedom but does nothing about it.

Good noon, Cubao!

The clouds are the people's thought balloons.

_Portrait of Ong Keng Sen_

Portrait of Ong Keng Sen
Oil on canvas
32" x 46.5"
September 6 - 20, 2017

The aggressors are big cowards after all.

He weeps with remorse, but he is ill-advised by his companions.

Tony Perez's Art of War: Deflection is one of the safest forms of defense.

There will be chaos, and it will be blamed on foreign intruders.

Evening drizzle in Cubao.

The werewolf had two, purple yam ice cream cones at a Sitio Catacutan hawker's stand.

They will not leave, because they cannot afford to.

Too much of a good thing is not always bad.

Old ways will no longer make money for them.

The most amazing talent of all is that which is self-developed.

The sun goes to the beach to pick up seashells.

Good noon, Cubao!

A baking-hot day.

Tony Perez's Art of War: Your personal success is always the best form of revenge, because it besieges your enemies every day of their lives.

I am drowsing in bed whenever Teen Wolf replays on Sony channel. It is a series that is hard for me to follow. None of the characters have depth, and none of the roles are acting vehicles. The program seems to be a mere springboard for fancy camera effects.

I DO wish that Tyler Posey would engage himself with some other project, preferably a non-supernatural one. His face is as unique as Sal Mineo's was in the 50s, and it would be everyone's loss if he suddenly disappeared.

"The successful warrior is the average man with laser-like focus."

--Bruce Lee

Many people will try to get close to you not because they like you but because they do not like you and want to see what makes you a success. All you have to do is quash their enthusiasm and turn their minds round before you send them away.

Am disturbed whenever broadcasters pronounce "ceremony" as "Seh-REH-mo-nee" rather than "SEHR-eh-mo-nee" and "category" as "ka-TEH go-ree" rather than "KAT-eh-go-ree".

Keep a bag of muesli cereal on hand to snack on when you are hungry, rather than binge on junk food.

When something wonderful comes to you the day following the last night of Hungry Ghost Month, it is a gift of thanksgiving from the hungry ghosts whom you fed.

It is all right to eat food that you offered the hungry ghosts the following day. You may also give it to the poor and the hungry. Your gesture will already have been accepted by then, and materials things are free to go the way of all material things.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Last Night of Hungry Ghost Month

Animals fear thunder and lightning as they fear the dragon's roar and breath of fire.

Rolling thunder. The Cubao giants are dragging heavy furniture across their sky-floor.

An alternative healer must always be of the same gender as his or her patient.

Otherwise he/she will be perceived as an alternative flirt.

Elementals are unable to move from one place to another when it rains.

The most distasteful moments in Masterchef Australia are always when the judges ask a contestant, "What does staying in this competition mean to you?" and "How much do you want to win this competition?" You just KNOW that this is a cheap, group dynamics ploy to make the contestants get emotional and elicit tears from them if only to make the show more interesting.

I have often caught contestants respond by putting on an act and giving the judges what they want. The camera captures everything, especially dishonesty--and so do viewers with keen powers of observation.

I have also been thrown off my seat whenever a contestant gushes tears and pours out a life story of hardship, pain, and broken dreams, and then the judges eliminate him or her ANYWAY because they claim that "it's all about the flavor". So what, then, was the point of that stupid melodrama?

Finally, there is always a fuss over sentimental spicing with the keywords "family", "memories", and "childhood", which never fail to make me cringe. Cooking is an art, but so are writing, painting, and music, and all those are really and primarily intellectual and cerebral--which is why there is a need for critics. Very intelligent critics.

Whenever someone you made love to in the past gets ill or dies, you need to fast, abstain, and smudge and cleanse yourself in order to reset your astral body.

FIRST do everything that needs to get done--pay bills, do housework, clean, cook, wash dishes, take out trash, and do the laundry. ONLY THEN do you attend to your art.

If you do it the other way around, your life will be a mess and the world will collapse.

What the departed did not become and did not attain in their previous lifetime, they will in the next.

Waxing literary. It IS time to write a novel.

Painting feeds my writing, and writing feeds my painting.

Yesterday evening before dusk, I took a photo of a street lamp glowing through the branches of a tree. That is an image I see whenever I am traveling from town to town--lamps glowing through treetops, over rice fields, above the roofs of houses. It always gives me a cozy feeling. I try to imagine what kind of people live in the vicinity, what they like doing before nightfall, and wonder whether they know that, as soon as the lamps glow, an entire world of enchantment comes alive.

Waiting for my painting to dry, after which I will varnish it.

And then, I think, I'll write a novel. I haven't done so in a while.

It is always the artist who stands for himself in this world, because individualism is not an institution, and will never be one.

When things go terribly wrong around us, it means that we have elders who are not doing their job and consequently do not deserve our respect.

We grieve for the dead not over what they had but over what they always dreamed of but never had.

If it means that I have to go out of my way and go somewhere to meet you, I would rather cancel.

Good morning, Cubao!

When the sun speaks, it sends out flares.

View on my blog Tony Perez Philippines:

Portrait of Ong Keng Sen

Tony Perez

Oil on canvas

32" x 46.5"

September 6 - 17, 2017

Tony Perez's Art of War: Once you leave a group or once a group leaves you, sever all ties with them and announce it publicly. That way, when they manifest any shortcoming or weakness--or even commit any kind of wrongdoing--it is definitely and clearly their fault and not yours.

Your Messenger message:

"Hello, Tony! How have you been ?

"I had an intriguing dream last night. I dreamt that I was walking after my Teacher on a road that seemed going uphill. I enjoyed walking barefoot on the damp ground which was hard, not muddy

"Later , in another dream, i saw myself filling up a big beautiful light yellow leather handbag . I realised it had become heavy and wondered how i could carry it."


My reply:

Hello __________!

Your psyche is showing you your progress indeed. From high heels to sandals to bare feet, the ultimate practice of humility. The road is uphill, meaning no easy practice, but you are following your Teacher, and you are walking on firm ground.

Regarding the second dream, yellow is the color of emotion, specifically joy on one hand and grief on the other. It may be the one thing that could be bogging you down--emotions are rooted in the past: childhood, youth, and previous lifestyles. You wonder how you can carry the leather bag--only you can answer that, most probably by persistence and tenacity.

The lawyers are still consulting their lawyers.

Our biggest transgression against Nature is producing volumes of trash rather than treasures, whichever way we dispose of it.

Never lose your magic. Sometimes all will seem to be inoperative except that. 

The werewolf had a chocolate ice cream cone at one of the Sitio Catacutan hawkers' stands.

Monday, September 18, 2017

3:44 PM

Eleventh glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Monday, September 18, 2017

2:46 PM

Tenth glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

"Monday, Monday/
Can't trust that day/"

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a golden stoplight at a giant crossroads.

When history repeats itself, it includes past tragedies.

I love divination using mahjong tiles. An elaborate ritual with joss sticks precedes it, and, as in the game, three other people aside from the diviner sit round the table. Walls are built in a ritual phase called "Building the City", which can have one, two, three, or four entrances and a tower. Then tiles are placed in the four cardinal directions (quite disorienting because the diviner is always in the East).

The "flowers" play significant roles and must be mastered first, especially "Chung" (a.k.a. Red Dragon), which really means "Center". I never knew till now that they have such wonderful meanings--and to think that we discard them when we are playing the game.

And oh, all four dice are actually used.

Still reading _Gladiators_ and the book of divination using mahjong tiles.

There are tons of stuff to memorize in the latter. Aside from knowing the meaning of each tile, one has to know its meaning when it is located in the north, south, east, and west, when it appears in a grouping of three tiles, and when it is the first, the second, or the third tile.

That and the I-Ching may keep my non-painting and non-writing time occupied through my physical death.

Tony Perez's Art of War: Do not run ahead of someone whose victory entails death.

No one can put down a truly successful man.

A person who never says hello and goodbye comes and goes like the wind.

Resumed painting.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

9:35 PM

Ninth glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Three-hour, deep-tissue massage. It felt like encumbering, astral armor was being shed from my body.

What is pain, then, if we are smaller than grains of sand in the entire galaxy?

There are social activists who believe that using their brains and their loud opinions are their biggest contributions to change. Those, however, do NOT constitute action. Those are mere indications that they expect OTHER PEOPLE to act for them. In the meantime, they keep their feet dry and mix truffles in their salad.

The freedom to make enemies is the heaviest shackle of all.

Three systems will always strive to keep the people poor and ignorant, under the guise of reaching out to them and helping them, in order to continue making money for themselves: religion, politics, and the media.

You shun those whose political opinions are different from yours because it is YOU who desires to control others.

Intolerance is absence of true democracy.

We strongly believe in co-existence, yet it does not really exist in Nature and in the animal world.

Whenever you begin pleasing your critics, you immediately stop being yourself.

All revolutions are due to the oppression of the gods, not the desire to become like the gods. The latter, however, is how the gods will always interpret it.

The Wands must continue pointing to the ground.

An institution will always have more to lose than an individual ever can.

It is pointless to wipe out your political enemies because they NEVER disappear. They will simply reemerge in disguise--you will no longer see them but they will still be there. 

A hot, sweltering day in Cubao.

Like every religion, every government believes it has the key to everyone's salvation.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is a big, projection screen waiting for a movie to begin.

Caught the second half of the 2017 TV movie Michael Jackson: Searching for Neverland on Lifetime, as told from the points of view of his two security persons. Wonderful, credible performances. The script and the direction also avoid falling into the traps of mawkishness and melodrama. In the 1970s I used to believe that the worst performances were on TV. Today I believe that some of the best performances are on TV.

Dinner at home with Angelique and J. Aubrey is at a birthday party.

Back from the center, where I spent an afternoon with my younger son, Chito, and my grandchildren Chevy and Vinci. It was Chevy's birthday approximately a month ago and Chito's birthday today. Bought shoes for Chevy and Vinci and two pizzas for them to take home.

Actually, you do NOT live only once.

YDOLO

All talk, all analysis. No action. They read current events like books. Afterwards, they merely shelve everything.

For every person who hates you, there are 20 other people who love you.

All good parents are expansive.

When the mediocre feast and celebrate, stay as far away from them as you can.

Believe it or not, your father always cheers for you.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are trailer homes en route to a camping site.

Whenever I read a Messenger message that begins with, "Sir Tony, I just wanted you to know that (Name)...", I don't have to read the rest of the message to know that someone passed away.

Friday, September 15, 2017

8:14 PM

Eighth glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Friday, September 15, 2017

3:00 PM

Seventh glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

A broken clock does not stop time.

Heartfelt prayers for my Friend Honor Dimapilis, who passed away yesterday due to cardiac arrest.

Two boardwalk, strawberry ice cream cones at Toto's cafe. While Toto was conversing with a female friend at the entrance, the Sitio Caatacutan taong-grasa moved close to him to ask for the canned juice that he was sipping. Toto gave it to him. The taong-grasa sat by the road and consumed the drink. Long after the can was empty he still held on to it, as though it were a magic vessel that would give him more juice or as though it were a symbol of his security.

If you cannot afford to buy statuettes to use as wards, try origami figures. Paper folding is even as centering as pottery.

The Snakes 'n' Ladders board game has occult roots. Like rainmakers, it can be used to control the weather.

When people laugh at you it is usually to prevent you from laughing at them first.

Every activity has a mascot, if only you are able to identify it. It functions not only as a stimulus but also as an encouraging guide.

If animals could keep in touch with each other, most of them would escape from zoos, farms, circuses, and houses in order to be with their loved ones.

Home alone.

Went back to painting; The Queen Anne's Revenge will have to be set aside for now.

Fourth cup very black, Turkish dark.

Had delivery folks not arrived, I would have slept through the lunch hour.

Lunch at home with Angelique and J. Aubrey at university.

Angelique and J. are buying dog food for Kichiro Mayuzumi before going to school.

Good noon, Cubao!

The sun is a bushel of sweet corn.

We are all at home. Angelique and J. arrived but decided to skip dinner after having a heavy lunch earlier today. Everyone else is now upstairs, and I am alone in the kitchen.

A glass of red wine mixed with soda. That means I can't do any more painting, writing, reading, or puzzle assembling tonight. I am not one of those writers who become productive when they are inebriated. On the contrary, I become drowsy. Very drowsy. I am always a big disappointment to people who wistfully tell me, "I'd love to see you when you're drunk." What they get to see is the Dormouse napping at the Mad Hatter's tea table.

Had to take a break from painting. While waiting for the granddaughters to arrive from school, decided to start assembling a 3D puzzle of The Queen Anne's Revenge. Stopped as soon as Aubrey arrived. Now we are waiting for Angelique.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

5:27 PM

Sixth glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

3:04 PM

Fifth glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

1:48 PM

Fourth glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Thursday, Thursday

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is a glass cloche that covers the earth.

In real life, when a man shapeshifts into a werewolf, he transforms from an ordinary human being not into a monster but into a person endowed with so much magical charisma that he becomes irresistibly attractive to his "victims".

Dinner at home with Aubrey. Then Angelique and J. arrived from college and we sat with them while they had dinner.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

9:17 PM

Third glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

6:28 PM

Second glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

The werewolf had two, purple yam ice cream cones at Toto's cafe yesterday evening.

Keep your children indoors. The dead boy is collecting 30 boys.

Nature is the only sculptor who has the right to reshape the earth.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

4:27 PM

First glaze on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Two more cups very black, Turkish dark.

Rats have the worst deal of all. They build their nests in culverts, where they are drowned by rainstorms without any kind of forecast. They are compelled to hunker down in freezing cold and in searing heat. They are despised and detested. They are hunted like foxes by pranksters. They are torn apart by ferocious cats and dogs. They steal food because they are hungry. They feast on the poison you lay out, trusting that they are finally, kindly fed. Their internal organs collapse. They crawl under heavy objects to compress the vacuum inside their bodies, or they lay down to die on a stair step for you to find the next day, and as though to say, "Here I am, you have killed me at last, and this is how I looked like when I died."

How many rats have you encountered in your life?  

Jalan-jalan and groceries at the center.

After a period of rain in the dark, the werewolf emerges to explore the forest.

Good noon, Cubao!

The clouds unfold parasols under the blazing sun.

After creating your latest work of art, ask yourself:

--Is it truly a new work or a repetition of an old one?
--Did you excel and exceed yourself?
--Is the work something that no other artist in your own country can create?
--Did you introduce at least one new technique in creating the work?
--Did you experience a breakthrough?

If not, then you did not progress in your journey, and are at a standstill. Your audience will say that seeing one of your works is equivalent to seeing all of your works.

You should stop, rest, temporarily change your medium (such as from painting to writing or from writing to painting), or be an audience to others for the time being.

Watched the grand finals of the 2017 _Masterchef Australia_ competition on Lifetime. Congratulations are due not only to the top three winners but to all the top ten winners as well!

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

3:47 PM

Seventh layer of paint on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

2:20 PM

Sixth layer of paint on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

"I'm painting in the rain/

Just painting in the rain/

What a glorious feelin'/

I'm happy again/

I'm laughing at clouds/

So dark up above/

The sun's in my heart/

And I'm ready for love/"

Rain is a blessing if only we could manage everything else in our lives. If we could and if we would, I wish that it would rain forever.

Never Click on videos sent by strangers via Messenger.

Magnificent rain. I love the screen of baguettes through which I see the world outside, and the thousands of marquises hanging like prisms from the eaves and the iron grills that encage our balconies.

Diamonds are forever, and so is the rain.

A perfect day for painting, reading, writing, even knitting, a cup of black coffee in the small loggia, scented candles, and paraffin oil lamps.

The goddess of the storm is my mother.

A cool, wet morning.

Rain children huddle at our front door, waiting for the house to wake up.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky weavers strand glass beads and lower translucent curtains to the earth.

Rainy night in Cubao.

Monday, September 11, 2017

3:13 PM

Fifth layer of paint on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Quite tedious that I have to take off all of my rings before painting and then put them on again afterward.

Two cups very black, Turkish dark.

A wet morning in Cubao.

Every philosopher is a teacher, but not every teacher is a philosopher.

Your heroic venture came to naught if you lost your temper and raised your voice at least once.

Every good teacher is unique and should not be subjected to a stereotype standard.

One thing is certain. A good teacher is a lot of fun to be with.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is an enchanted, water resort.

The person who believes that he/she is desirable to everyone experiences the greatest disappointments of all. 

Switches

Still reading Gladiators and the book on divination using mahjong tiles.

Hopping from CNN to Fox, and back.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

10:30 PM

Fourth layer on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Your Messenger message:

"Hi Sir Tony, "Kamusta po?
"Sir, as you know, I am currently enjoying my work as an outdoor instructor here in __________ rather than selling _______ in Makati. I really am. But I have one thing to consult you of with regards to what's happening in the camp.

"The center/camp I am with is ____ hectares big. And we have a facilitator's cabin to sleep in whenever we ran programs for participants.

"The moment I got inside our cabin, I felt nonhuman presence right away but chose to ignore it. Several weeks and months after, I have been noticing different figures inside our room and saw one as well on the common area. I never tried to do full scanning as you've taught me cause fear usually catches me first and with the thought that I'll be spending most of my time in the center.

"I have been ignoring the presences I felt Sir Tony until recently. We conducted a parent and child program and did camping on one of our camping sites. One parent heard somebody calling her daughter's name while they were having shower only to find out no one was outside. On that same program, night came, the mother dreamt of me conducting them a program but seeing another person besides me facilitating me. And just the other night, another colleague of mine shared that she heard a news on her dream that I died. This is not the first time that somebody dreamt of me about some happenings inside the camp.

"Not only that, I have been hearing accounts from different staff, like our camp nurses and housekeeping and drivers who are experiencing things they could not explain and yet I chose not to intervene.

"Are the dreams trying to say something to me? Like communicating to them and the like?

"There was one execom member who told one of my officemate that he saw a woman following me while I was conducting a program. And I barely know that execom member. Never even talked to him for more than 3 minutes. And he already had that observation.

"I tried scanning some areas already Sir Tony but never did a full scan. I'm kinda scared but also just want to hear your thoughts about this matter. Thank you for taking time to read thi Sir tony."


My reply:

Hello ________!

There is nothing to worry about except your own fear, which I hope you will eventually be able to overcome. An elemental princess has fallen in love with you and follows you around to protect you. It is possible that you will receive gifts of jewelry or gold, directly or indirectly, as tokens of her admiration. There is nothing sexual in this attraction, but elementals can be possessive and jealous. Is it not so, for example, that the mother of the girl has feelings for you? Think hard. The princess might have been warning you of traps and pitfalls in your way, that is why she provided distractions. Is it not also so that the nurses, housekeepers, and drivers have been cracking sexual jokes with you. Same thing.

I suggest that you saunter into the forest alone when you have time and do a one-way conversation with the elemental. Do not light candles or joss sticks--they abhor the scent of those. Simply thank the princess for her friendship, and establish restrictions. You must have the freedom, for example, to fall in love and perhaps eventually marry the human being of your choice.

After you have done this, you may message me again.

Had my old--really old--book on divination using mahjong tiles hardbound, because the front cover started falling apart as I was rereading it.

When stress overcomes you, do NOT resort to your old, bad habits. You will only make things worse--and your stress will not go away.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

5:15 PM

Third layer on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

4:20 PM

Second layer on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Art is the true therapy of an ailing society. Entertainment is merely a pain-killer.

The truth is, a man scorned is more wrathful than a woman scorned.

He rides on the crest of another person's great success.

New forms of art are always rehabilitative and constructive, never harmful or destructive.

It is possible to write letters to the dead.

Seek patterns of the galaxies in the labyrinths of coral.

Fret not. We ALL learn the hard way.

Good noon, Cubao!

The sky is a hot and cold water dispenser in a conference room.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

10:25 PM

First layer of paint on portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Amazing! One of the participants of my creative writing workshop at the Philippine National School for the Blind found me on facebook and sent me a Friend Request! (Their social media are all auditory.) Of course, I accepted the Friend Request.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

5:30 PM

Finished background of portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

3:10 PM

Halfway done with background of portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

"There was a time, that I just thought/
That I would lose my mind/"

Saturday, September 9, 2017

11:42 AM

Finished the underpainting of the portrait of Ong Keng Sen. Commenced first layer of black background.

Two cups very black, Turkish dark.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is a bowl of whipped cream.

You are blinded by your own biases, as sure as some people are bound to their pornography.

He who remains calm and composed, sees all the details.

Preparing for your future is like paving the road ahead of you with stone slabs.

Everyone is beloved, even if by only one other person.

Overcome your weaknesses, but do not submit to a competition a repeat of what made you lose last time.

Your Messenger message:

"Good morning Sir Tony. I had a dream just this morning and here it is...

"Sept 8, 2017 7am

"Dream
"I am with my friend Perla who passed away already. We were in Tony Perez place in a room. I dozed off and after waking up I am alone in the room.

"I tied looking for them. I entered a room but it was a kitchen. I saw a cat and a dog and a woman about 20 years old doing something in the kitchen counter.

"I went back to the room where I came from. I went out the other door and there I saw Perla and Tony Perez. I asked where did they go. No one answered.

"Then Tony led to to the stairs (I think it’s a steel stair parang spiral. I think I said, Baka nakakatakot. Then Tony said dun nga sa other house mo meron. I asked, anong meron dun but Sir Tony did not answer.

"The room upstairs was dark but not too dark because I can see what’s inside. There is a painting to the far end on the right a head of a woman. Tony reaches to the head and the head went to Tony’s palm. The head spoke and said, What you are looking for will come. Then Tony said 'Sabi mo yan.'

"Then on the right side of the wall was a painting of Sir Tony’s portrait. Tony waved from left to right on the painting and the painting came alive and back to a painting again.
"Then a lady arrive from the stairs and I think she said there is merienda downstairs. I was holding a small packed butter, and the cover pop out and a small plant went out. Tony told me the name of the plant but I cannot remember the name. Then Tony put a elongated leaf on top of the small plant about 3 to 4 inches long.

"Then I woke up."

My reply:

Hello ______!

Perla represents a part of you that has died; the woman in the kitchen is what replaced her. Still, you are uncertain of what this major change will lead to. You ascend via a spiral staircase --the spiral representing evolution--to your higher consciousness, where yet another woman promises that your quest for completion (individuation [Jung], self-actualization [Adler], or ego integration [Freud]) will soon come to an end.

The sprouting plant is an indication that, at the end of the dream, you are already willing to accept growth. Only with this growth can you truly be of help not only to yourself but to everyone you love.

Two cups very black, Turkish dark.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are empty, candy wrappers.

Mature persons make things right when things go wrong.

Immature persons make things even more wrong when things go wrong.

Hurricane watch.

I think, they are looking for a man who is dead.

Dinner at home alone. Then Aubrey arrived late from university; she auditioned for drumming. Much later, Angelique and J. arrived from college. I continued the underpainting of the portrait of Ong Keng Sen but am still not finished. Stopped my obsession at 10:00 PM. Must resume tomorrow.

The werewolf ate a boardwalk, chocolate ice cream cone at Toto's cafe.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Commenced underpainting on portrait of Ong Keng Sen but stopped and called it a day for painting at 5:20 PM.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

2:45 PM

Finished underdrawing for portrait of Ong Keng Sen.

At the moment when misfortune hits you, you remember which promise you broke, and to whom.

Thursday, Thursday

No meeting with the Spirit Questors today.

It's a painting day.

Check his mouth for cells.

As for that man, you seem to have forgotten that he is a descendant of Genghis Khan.

You cannot punish a person by killing that person.

1) The lesson does not become his, it becomes yours.
2) He will reincarnate and kill you back.

Good noon, Cubao!

The sun is a bright, yellow school bus.

The werewolf ate two, boardwalk, strawberry ice cream cones at Toto's cafe this evening. It was like gobbling up inverted garden gnomes.

Weekly business meeting with M. We both can't wait for the cafe to reopen with a new menu this month.

Stop asking why it is like this every year. You have to feed, provide drinking water for, and light the way for the hungry ghosts.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

4:10 PM

Second layer of celadon primer on canvas for portrait of Ong Keng Sen is done.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

1:33 PM

First layer of celadon primer on canvas for portrait of Ong Keng Sen is done.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a mason jar filled with lemon gumdrops.

Dinner at home with Aubrey. Angelique and J. had dinner out then came home.

Brightness and light are not always the same thing.

Has it ever dawned on you that nothing in you has changed but that everything around you has?

Girls without money will flirt their way, sometimes even in twos or threes, to acquire what they need.

Babels of reason are worse than babels of language.

Strange guests arrive on the Feast Day of Hungry Ghosts: a hand-carved, wooden fetish owl clad with brass plates from India; a stone owl from Greece; a hand-carved, wooden owl embellished with rhinestones from China; and a hand-carved and lacquered wooden owl from Indonesia.

I gave all of them to the K.T.

Good noon, Cubao!

The sky is made of blue concrete.

"Tonight/
Won't be just any night/
Tonight/
There will be no morning star/"

Nightfall and rainfall on Cubao.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is a luminous, mirror maze.

Watched the replay of the 2006 movie Annapolis on HBO. After everything has been said and done, everyone who panned the movie seemed to have forgotten that the movie was not written for Annapolis, not written for boxing, but written for James Franco, whose performance has the same truth, albeit with mannerisms, as that of James Dean. It is a father-son movie. They might as well pan all of James Dean's melodramas.

Always go for quality.

Never buy fashionable-looking clothes that will only look like shapeless rags a few months later.

The Ghost Whisperer replays on Sony are okay, but I am always thrown off by the protagonist's Paris Hilton look. She even goes to bed with make-up on.

Before getting through to a mage, you first must gain the trust of all of his spirit guides, and every mage has at least 30.

Note that "major, major" is now widely used, even on CNN.

Gifts should be expressions of unconditional love.

If not, they are mere bribes.

My Muslim antique dealer is now offering me a lot of stuff from Maguindanao, but they are mostly weapons, headgear, embroidered fabric, and beaded work.

I prefer furniture. And, from the Tausug, only antique malongs.